I talk with comedian Craig Shoemaker about love, life and the pursuit of inner truth. I have known Craig for over 20 years and consider him a true friend and fellow truth seeker. His podcasts are filled with humor and insight so check out mine and others – they are good entertainment as well as thoughtful and thought-provoking.
A Year of Love: HAPPINESS
Dear Love Seekers,
Happiness has always held an allure for me. As a little girl, I remember when people asked me what I wanted I would always say “to be happy.” Little did I know what an abstract idea happiness is and therefore I never seemed to be able to “get to” happy.
Of course, I wanted other regular things a young girl wants – to be as good at gymnastics as Nadia Comaneci (The Romanian gymnast who at age 14 was the first Olympic Gymnast to ever score a perfect 10 at the 1976 Olympic Games in Montreal) or to own a house on every continent – You gotta dream big! But, under it all was always the quest to “be happy.”
No one ever talked about “being” happy. It was more about having to work hard, to study hard to be a good person and to someday be happy. I wanted to be happy now.
Fast forward a few decades and what I have learned is that Happy is not a destination. Happiness comes during pit stops along the path of my life. Sometimes worked for and sometimes coming as a total surprise. Happy is a destination to strive for and is a contrast to “not happy” but what I have finally come to realize is that I will never just “be happy.” And, I am totally at peace with that.
What I have also come to realize is that pursuing peace, love and joy allows me more pit stops of happiness. That following the ease in my life allows for more happiness. That being brave and sharing myself and following my own intuition gives me moments (sometimes long moments) of pure happiness.
But, above all, what gives me the most happiness is being able to help others. To spread love wherever I can and to shut down fear and hate as quickly as possible because fear and hate (for me) is the opposite of happiness. Fear and hate drive me away from my dreams and make me feel unhappy.
I talk to my clients about reaching their goals and pursuing their dreams and often we have to untangle our culture’s obsession with overnight success. I think “overnight” success comes with years of work, struggle, learning and growing.
As I turn 55 and think about that 12-year-old girl who spent long hours with her horse dreaming about “being happy” I feel, well I just feel happy. I guess I too am an “overnight” success.
Thoughts on Happiness:
“There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.” – Thich Nhat Hanh
“Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.” – Margaret Lee Runbeck
“Be happy in the moment, that’s enough.” – Mother Teresa
“If you want happiness for a lifetime, help the next generation.” – Chinese saying
Please read my January post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.
Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going. Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world. Let’s flood the world with LOVE! (Kindness, Joy, Peace and Happiness).
If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your true north – Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible for you.
May your life be filled with more moments of Happiness and may that Happiness spill over into our world.
In Love, Kindness, Joy, Peace (and Happiness),
Susie Goliti
A Year of Love: PEACE
Dear Love Seekers,
Today I wanted to talk about PEACE. To me this emotion/feeling has become one of my highest values. I value Peace as a way of life, as a compass to follow as a possibility for me for you and for the world.
The peace I seek is that internal knowing that I am ok, that all will be ok, that all works out as it should – even when the proverbial shit is hitting the fan.
The first time I defined this for myself was in the Advanced course of the Landmark Forum in 1999. Each participant stood in front of the class and stated who they were as a possibility in the world. The possibility needed to be authentic and truly resonate or the class would say – nope – try again. I think I went up the first time and stated that I was the possibility of courage and passion or something like that – both great possibilities – but not my highest/truest possibilities. The class said – nope, try again.
After several attempts and many questions from the facilitators about who I was in the world and what I really was passionate about I connected to the suffering of those in war-torn areas. Of children and families who were just trying to live their life being bombed and massacred. Being torn apart emotionally and physically and I just broke down. I felt it so deeply and felt so powerless and sad. That’s when I knew I was the possibility of Peace. Peace in the external sense (no fighting) and Peace in the internal sense (at peace with what is and who you are) no matter what is happening around you.
Even today when I feel anxious, upset, confused, angry or sad I will remind myself that I am the possibility of Peace. That I am a stand for myself and all sentient beings to be at Peace. It causes me to take a deep breath, to bring myself back to the moment and I can choose peace over whatever other emotion has taken over.
As I write this, I am reflecting on how far I have come with this possibility as my guiding compass. When I first defined this for myself it was much harder to choose peace when things were hard. I had a lot of agreement in my world (friends, work, society) that times were hard, that it was someone else’s fault. That I was entitled to be upset and judgmental of my situation, my environment.
Now, I find that not choosing peace is actually harder on me than choosing peace. I have made it a habit, I have changed my beliefs such that choosing something other than peace actually hurts me. My world is much more supportive of this choice. I am surrounded by others that value peace, love and overall empowerment. I work with clients that are in pursuit of these qualities and I am much more discerning of where I spend time or what I watch on TV or allow to enter my consciousness because I know that I need to tend to my pursuit of peace with peaceful pursuits.
This is such a huge topic really. I don’t quite know how to keep it in the short blog world we live in but suffice it to say that each of us has that unique, authentic possibility inside us. That true north that is unshakably you. Your guiding compass.
It is your life’s work to uncover it. To cultivate it and to share it. The world needs you as you need the world. Let us be co-creators of a world of possibility. A world that works for everyone. Why not?
Thoughts on Peace:
“If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” Lao Tzu
“A smile is the beginning of peace.” Mother Teresa
“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.” Buddha
“Let nothing and no one disturb your inner peace.” Luminita Saviuc
For April I am adding PEACE to love.
Please read my January post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread the love.
Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going. Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world. Let’s flood the world with LOVE! (Kindness, Joy and Peace).
Are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration your true north? Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible for you. What do you have to lose?
May your life be filled with more moments of Peace and may that Peace spill over into our world.
In Love, Kindness, Joy (and PEACE),
Susie Goliti
A Year of Love: JOY
As I head into day 60 of my intentional year of LOVE, I have started to get feedback from others about how reading my posts are affecting them. Some just like to read them, some are inspired to do acts of love in their lives and others are curious about how doing this has affected me.
It makes me happy to share my experience with others. I have never really posted much of my life on Facebook or been a big part of the social media community in the past and have to say that I had trepidations about even doing this online in the first place. I knew that I wanted to spread love past my journal, past my living room so I embraced it and am thankful that there are platforms like these to share.
As I was thinking about writing my blog this month, I kept feeling Joy. Sharing love brings me loads of Joy and so I wanted to bring that aspect into this year of intentional Love.
What brings us Joy? For me, Joy is a state of being. Feeling Joy in whatever circumstances surround us is what I feel is my life’s work. I say work because sometimes it is hard to feel Joy. When things don’t go my way, or I feel I have been wronged or mistreated generating Joy is almost impossible. Yet, if I can find the lesson, the gift in the moment I am assured some level of Joy and/or shift from the “there is something wrong to what is the gift here?”
“Joy is caused by elation at a moment in time. Joy may not always be about oneself but be about other’s contentment also.” – I read this online and it really resonated with me because we have to choose Joy, be open to Joy and share it to keep it alive for ourselves (and others). Certainly, we can’t (make) others feel Joy but it’s much more likely that they can when we feel Joy too.
Joy, to me, is being in a moment and not wanting for anything else.
A few quotes on Joy:
“There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.” – Khalil Gibran
“Joy is the simplest form of gratitude.” – Karl Barth
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” – Leo Buscaglia
For March I am adding Joy to love.
Please read my January post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.
Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going. Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world. Let’s flood the world with LOVE! (Kindness and Joy).
May your life be filled with more moments of Joy and may that Joy spill over to those you love.
In Love, Kindness (and Joy),
Susie Goliti
A Year of Love: KINDNESS
My first month of practicing LOVE has been interesting. I have found that I spend a lot of my day without intentionally doing things. Most of my day is spent almost on autopilot. Like it is happening to me.
This is not bad necessarily and the majority of my day goes well being on autopilot, but I have to wonder – what would it be like if I was more intentional in general? Would it be better? The same? Is it possible to live a completely intentional life?
I got curious about how someone else would define intentional living and came across this definition from Wikipedia:
Intentional living: is any lifestyle based on an individual or group’s conscious attempts to live according to their values and beliefs. These can include lifestyles based on religious or ethical values, as well as coaching, personal transformation, and leadership training.
To live intentionally we have to have our values and beliefs at the ready. We need to really know what we believe. And yet, as I have been learning, the subconscious stores the majority of our beliefs and they are buried there. We may not even know what they are or have access to them in our conscious mind.
95% of what we do is driven from our subconscious? We are really only “conscious” of what is driving us – 5% of the time.
“An enormous portion of cognitive activity is non-conscious, figuratively speaking, it could be 99 percent; we probably will never know precisely how much is outside awareness.” –Dr. Emmanuel Donchin, director of the Laboratory for Cognitive Psychophysiology at the University of Illinois.
No wonder I am experiencing this feeling of being on autopilot – My autopilot is my subconscious.
The things that are hidden from awareness, exert the greatest influence over our personalities and behaviors. – Freud
As I continue through this year I am wondering if by practicing to intentionally live from love if I will be rewiring some subconscious belief to better lead with love.
This also got me to thinking about other values I consciously have, and this made me want to add one new one each month to see what could happen by the end of the year.
“Don’t underestimate your power. Hate is potent, but so is kindness. And goodness, and grace. Use yours generously.” – Oprah
For February I am adding Kindness to love.
Please read my January post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.
Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going. Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world. Let’s flood the world with LOVE! (and Kindness).
In Love (and Kindness),
Susie Goliti
A Year of LOVE
This year I have decided to intentionally spread love. What do I mean by that? I mean that I will, each day, have at least one moment where I am spreading loving thoughts, loving words or loving actions out into the world. I am not hoping it happens, or that I will accidentally happen upon it (although that may happen too), rather I will deliberately choose to spread love at least one time in the day.
I created an acronym to help me remember. It is a quick way for me to stay aligned with my intention and to also measure my success over the year.
-
Let
-
Our
-
Voices
-
Embrace
Let – feelings, words and thoughts of love triumph over fear. Let the need to connect override the need to be right. Let forgiveness smother the need to get even. And let go of whatever does not serve our greatest good, whatever is causing us suffering.
Our – collective is more important than the single me. We are part of a much bigger whole. A whole that we belong to but, does not belong to us. We were born to be here and born to be loved.
Voices – Celebrate our uniqueness and also remember that we are connected. People, plants, animals, energy, everything. Use our voice to convey love and to speak our truth without having to make others wrong or somehow less. We are entitled to our full expression and so are they.
Embrace – all of life. The good and the bad. The sorrow and the joy. Move toward what is wanted vs. what is not wanted. Embrace yourself and others as the perfectly imperfect beings that we are. Embrace the moment.
The new year is an opportunity to reset, recharge and reclaim the areas in our lives that we seek to change. For me, it is an opportunity to create what I want in the world. And what I want most in the world is love: for me, for you, for families in war zones, for those who are abandoned, lost, scared or alone – for animals, plants, oceans, the planet.
One component of spreading LOVE will be to practice mindfulness and deliberately focusing on how I can share more love in the world: with my family and friends, with people I meet, drive past in my car, or see in a store. Even the thoughts that I let ruminate in my mind will be an area of focus. If I can change a thought, it will change my emotions, which will change my actions and ultimately my results. If I think negative and hateful thoughts, then believe me, someone someplace is going to be affected by some manifestation of that negative thought.
I may not be able to consistently practice LOVE, but if I can be aware of my choices as much as possible and to choose LOVE at least once per day then at the minimum I will have created 365 loving moments in the world. That would be a good year. Would you like to join me?
Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going. Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world. Let’s flood the world with LOVE!
In Love,
Susie Goliti
You must be logged in to post a comment.