1 Nov 2019

A Year of Love: FORGIVENESS

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Dear Love Seekers,

 

This month I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness.  Many of my clients struggle with this too so I wanted to explore this topic as we head into the holidays.  We all have a past with our families, ourselves, friends, the country, our community that may or may not be filled with rainbows and butterflies.  If we are all being honest, I think we probably have a dead butterfly or two back there in our past.

 

So, what do we do with that?  How do we truly forgive?  Can we?

“Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.”  

I love this quote because it allows me to sink into the futility of the grudge, anger or hurt I might be feeling.  To give up all hope that it should have happened any different than it did.  Of course, there are things that happen that we wish didn’t but if we can give up hoping that they were different if we can learn from and accept the lesson of what did happen then we can forgive.  We can move on.

Byron Katie and others teach that we must be able to accept all that has happened as necessary and exactly how it should have gone (whether or not we understand it) that there is nothing to correct.  There is only learning and moving on.

I used to think that forgiving was just not thinking about the past or having an attitude of “whatever” toward the perceived (and legitimate) wrongs I had experienced.  But subconsciously I was carrying those wrongs with me and I could get triggered in a second when a reminder came in the form of seeing a person or being in a situation that I had not forgiven.

“Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.”

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

The idea of holding onto resentment to prove that I am right that they were wrong was a very hard practice for me to break.  Even if I was “right” I was the one suffering.  I was the one shut down, existing in the world as petty and vengeful.  I was the one who spent my energy looking back to see how I could prove I was right.  I was the one wasting my life on revenge.  Once I saw that – I had a choice.  We always have a choice.

“Resentment is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die.”

So, how can you complete this year giving up all hope for a better past?  How can you take the lessons from these grievances and create 2020 from a place of forgiveness, from a place of accepting that the past is complete and that there is nothing to correct or point out to others to correct?

Now, I am not saying that you should not clean up anything that you realize you have done to others that could have been hurtful, misleading or wrong.  Always do that to keep your integrity clean.  What I am saying is to not stomp around and point out how others should do that too.

Consider that when you are standing in your integrity and cleaning up what is yours to clean up you may inspire others to do the same.  Not in a “see I’m doing it, you should too” way, but in an “I do this because it is the right thing for me to do” way. When you forgive it allows you to move forward on your life path with freedom and ease.

Can you imagine how different it will feel when you look forward and it is just clear, open potential instead of trudging forward dragging all those grievances and upsets on your back?  Keeping them there to use to prove you’re right just in case you encounter the people or situations you need to prove wrong.  I say, drop that bag, forgive and see what’s around that next corner.

Thoughts on FORGIVENESS:

“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” – Tony Robbins

“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner” – Unknown

“The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

Please read my January 2019 post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.

Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going.  Feel free to post your version of what you want to put out in the world.  Let’s flood the world with LOVE (Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease, Grace, Truth, Power and Forgiveness).

If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your truth –  Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible for you.

May your life be filled with more moments of forgiveness and may that forgiveness spill over into our world.

In Love, Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease, Grace, Truth, Power (and Forgiveness),

Susie Goliti

(aka Transformation Junkie)

1 Oct 2019

A Year of Love: POWER

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Dear Love Seekers,

Today I wanted to talk about Power.  The world is in a power struggle.  People feel powerless.  We witness how power without kindness destroys.  We see power abused all over the world.  This power that places me over you or dictates that we must have a stronger, therefore weaker side.  The “power-over” concept makes sense if there is not an understanding that all is connected.  Is this our only access to power?

I say no.  Let’s talk about the power within us.  How that power is the only true power we can control, and we can direct.  Of course, we need to vote and speak up for what we believe in these larger power paradigms, but the journey inward allows us access to our power and allows us to empower others.

 

We have the power to believe what we want, think what we want and feel what we want.  Always.

 

I was listening to Caroline Myss during a talk on Sounds True– “the wisdom of the body summit” and she eloquently outlined how we have the power within us to heal ourselves and others.  She discussed that there is a great power within us and it’s the power of the human spirit itself or “cosmic soul.”  It’s our connection to that which is greater than us.  That which is connected to an infinite source.

What I found so poignant in her talk was the idea that power was a common fundamental ingredient of the human experience and it is how we manage our power that counts.  Even in our power to heal ourselves.

We must become someone who empowers others as a vital step for our own personal healing and that the healing and power within us is not for us but for others.

In essence, the conversation becomes: I am here to empower you.  I am the conduit through which grace can come through me to you.

 

But wait?  What about me you say?

 

Well if we are an integrated system (one organic integrated community) with no extra or spare parts then losing one will affect the whole.  What we do to the lest we do to the whole.  So, ultimately, by empowering others you, in turn, are empowering yourself.  I know that there are some who may not feel that “all life” is connected and for those people, I think the idea of “power-over” makes sense.  I feel this outdated power paradigm is ready to shift.

Caroline also discussed that theology teaches separateness and to see self as different.  It has used “difference” as a way to harm others.  Whereas bio-spiritual/mystical teachings are grounded in the belief that all is connected and what we do to one we do to all.

It’s not an accident that huge amounts of people are leaving religions and moving toward the mystical teachings which ultimately run through all the religions and incorporate the governing laws of the cosmos like the law of balance.  We have positioned ourselves to be outside of nature – to be observers and manipulators of nature, even of our own nature – rather than being creatures of nature and in balance with nature.

Theologies are evaporating and being challenged.  We are starting the journey to find the power to connect ourselves to the cosmic whole as we are connected to all and all is connected to us.  We are not special or living apart from “them”.  I believe we are becoming more aligned with this truth and we need to support each other on the journey.

 

How can we stay healthy in a transitioning world?

*Be realistic that this is a stressful world.

*Manage yourself and your responses to this world better.

*Have realistic expectations.

*Stop thinking that this chaos will not touch you.

*Be humble.

*Live with a compassionate heart.

*Be authentic.  We sense each other’s truth.  Walk the way you talk.

*Live the law of balance.

*Understand laws of action/reaction – it doesn’t matter if you can’t see it – when you put something in motion it will always be in motion – if you can’t set something in motion that is positive then ask – why do it?

*Become reflective about your actions/choices. If I do this or speak this or think this – will it bring this person/situation/me in balance or out of balance?

*Don’t deny what is.  Denial is often a lie we tell ourselves to not have to take responsibility.  As a rule, liars blame others and therefore are not responsible for what is happening, so taking responsibility takes away your permission to manipulate or punish others for not healing you.

 

What if we could all get strong enough within ourselves,

so we didn’t have to (command, break, kill, humiliate) the “other”

to feel strong and powerful? 

***That strength is within us.  Each of us.  The question is – will we remember?***

 

Thoughts on POWER:

“He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still.”

-Lao Tzu

“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.”

-Jimi Hendrix

“Nothing external to you has any power over you.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.” – Robert Anthony

 

Please read my January 2019 post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.

Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going.  Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world.  Let’s flood the world with LOVE! (Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease, Grace, Truth and Power).

If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your truth –  Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible for you.

May your life be filled with more moments of power and may that power spill over into our world.

In Love, Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease, Grace, Truth (and Power),

Susie Goliti

(aka Transformation Junkie)

1 Sep 2019

A Year of Love: TRUTH

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Dear Love Seekers,

TRUTH.  What is it?  Why is it so elusive and why should we pursue it?

What is “Truth” in a true sense?  How do we answer that?

What idea of truth do we subscribe to?

“There is no truth.  There is only perception.” – Gustave Flaubert

Or,

“We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us.  This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood.” – John 4:6

Or,

“All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed and third it is accepted as being self-evident.” – unknown

I read an article in Philosophy News written by Paul Pardi that spoke a lot about the theory of truth, but this is how he summed it up in a practical sense.

“Most people don’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about what truth is but tend to get by in the world without that understanding. That’s probably because the world seems to impose itself on us rather than being subject to some theory we might come up with about how it has to operate. We all need food, water and shelter, meaning, friendship, and some purpose that compels us to get out of bed in the morning. This is a kind of practical truth that is not subject to the fluidity of philosophical theory.

Even so, we all contend with truth claims on a daily basis. We have to make decisions about what matters. Maybe you’re deeply concerned about politics and what politicians are claiming or what policy should be supported or overturned. Perhaps you care about which athlete should be traded or whether you should eat meat or support the goods produced by a large corporation. You may want to know if God exists and if so, which one. You probably care what your friends or loved ones are saying and whether you can count on them or invest in their relationship. In each of these cases, you will apply a theory of truth whether you realize it or not and so a little reflection on what you think about truth will be important.”

As I ponder for myself the meaning of truth I have to separate the trueness of such things as the sky is blue (blue being an accepted way to describe the look of the sky) and the trueness of what I believe is true based on my perceptions/experiences/learning and free will.

Sure, I subscribe to the universal laws of science and nature that I can witness in a physical way.  That gravity exists because we are not floating off into space.  That when two forces of matter collide there will be damage (car crash).  That when a bullet is fired from a gun at a living being it will cause damage or death.

But what about my truth?  How do we live our truth in a world that wants to tell us what truth is?

How do we navigate Universal truth (law of gravity) with our own Personal truth (a belief that every being has the capacity for good or evil or everything happens for a reason, or nothing ever works out or everything always works out)?

And what about discrepancies in your truth vs. my truth?  The “truth” of God, Buddha or Mohammad or of Nature or Science – is your truth truer than my truth?  How do we sort through all these truths?  How can we coexist and allow your truth and my truth to be true at the same time?

To me, the rules from my niece’s grammar school seem to sum up the potential for us all to be able to navigate this world together and have room for us all to find our truth without destroying the other.  The rules are:

1. Don’t hurt people/beings.

2. Don’t hurt things.

3. Ask if you don’t know.

 

“To believe in something, and not to live it, is dishonest.” –  Mohandas Gandhi

The quote from Gandhi above resonates for me because I know that if I am living my life against my beliefs (truths) I suffer.  My body starts to rebel, my energy darkens my thoughts become defeatist/contracting and I just get smaller.

The connection to our bodies gives us the truth. 

If we can quiet our minds and listen to our bodies –

in the stillness –

the way is clear.

We are connected to the whole through our bodies and what is true for me is true for the whole – real natural truth – not cultural, taught, or us vs. them truth – I am talking about the truth that comes to you when you are centered, quiet and connected to nature or spirit.  The truth that can be scary to acknowledge because it may be the exact opposite of what you have been taught or even what you have been striving to follow for decades because you “thought” it was your truth.

I am reading the book Belonging by Toko-pa Turner and she says, “The willingness to rebel from the expected norms, roles, and silent contracts of the establishment comes out of knowing that one cannot afford to build resentment.  Resentment, which comes from the decision to go against one’s truth, embitters the self.”

If I am committed to a life of Peace, Love and Joy then building resentment is the opposite of that commitment.  Throughout my life, I have found my truths (then perhaps learned something new and changed my truths) but the pursuit of knowing and living my truths, to me, is the purpose of my life.

I wish I could sum up the truth with a truth but suffice it to say that I believe (and hold true) that we can all exist on this planet together in harmony.  I know that popular thought and current evidence seems to contradict that as a possibility but when I am quiet and connected to pure source – I see that truth.  At the risk of being called a Pollyanna, flake, dreamer I must own this and express it – I would be living a lie if I didn’t – because this is my truth.

What truths of yours have been living in the shadows (building resentment) for fear of ridicule?

 

Thoughts on Truth:

 

“The truth is not always beautiful, nor beautiful words the truth.” – Lao Tzu

“Seek not greatness but seek truth and you will find both.” – Horace Mann

“In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” – George Orwell

“Seek truth and you will find a path.” – Frank Slaughter

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

– Mark Twain

 

Please read my January 2019 post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.

Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going.  Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world.  Let’s flood the world with LOVE! (Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease, Grace and Truth).

If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your truth –  Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible for you.

May your life be filled with more moments of Truth and may that Truth spill over into our world.

In Love, Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease, Grace (and Truth),

Susie Goliti

(aka Transformation Junkie)

1 Aug 2019

A Year of Love: GRACE

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Dear Love Seekers,

Eight months into an intentional year of love and the word that comes up is GRACE.  This word has always conjured up in my mind a certain elegance and it evokes a feeling, a feeling of expansiveness and also quiet comfort.  This image of a thing, a person, a situation that is perfectly in flow with whatever is happening.

 

Like a big expansive inhale of what is and a deep exhale acceptance of what is not.

 

It’s the essence of a state of being.  It’s the ultimate measure of being – not doing.  Not so much about having grace but more about being grace.

As this year is progressing, I am noticing the grace in the small things, the little moments almost more than the big moments.  I looked up the dictionary definition of Grace and this is what it said:

  • Noun – simple elegance or refinement of movement. i.e. “she moved through the water with effortless grace” or: courteous goodwill i.e. “at least he has the grace to admit he was wrong.”
  • Verb – do honor or credit to (someone or something) by one’s presence.  i.e. “she bowed out from the sport she has graced for two decades”

 

Like the flow of big/little – yin/yang – near/far – wide/narrow.  None of those are better than the other until they are put into some context.

 

Grace to me is context-less.  It’s the tear in your eye when you are filled with love.

 

Grace is letting things go that are not meant for you.

Grace is going beyond your inclinations of trying to get the upper hand or revenge on someone.

Grace is dealing kindly with others, even if they don’t deserve it.

Grace is dealing kindly with others, even if they don’t know it or will never know it was you.

Grace is hearing criticism and being able to find the lesson or truth in the message without lashing out.

Grace is quietly sitting with grief – yours and others.

Grace is accepting another’s apology.

Grace is asking for forgiveness when you have made a mistake.

Grace is being mindful of the meaning behind your words.

Grace is saying thank you.

Grace is taking an interest in another person and genuinely listening to what they have to say.

 

Grace as a word has also had a bit of a hijacking (like Faith) from the organized religions.  Growing up I remember hearing that finding God was being in a state of Grace.  Therefore, a state of grace was off-limits until you found God.

Lucky for me I now define God as the connection between you and me and nature and the planets and all living creatures and all living matter, so grace is now available for me too because I have definitely found that connection.  I guess I have found God.

 

My wish for you is:

The grace of not speaking when there is nothing left to say

The grace of speaking up when a message needs to be heard

The grace of walking away when there is nothing left to be done

The grace of standing firm when there is something to stand firm for

The grace of knowing the grace in you.

 

Thoughts on Grace:

“We’re all stumbling towards the light with varying degrees of grace at any given moment.”

– Bo Lozoff

“Grace is love that cares and stoops and rescues.” – John R.W. Stott

 

“I do not at all understand the mystery of grace – only that it meets us where we are but does not leave us where it found us.” – Anne Lamott

 

Please read my January 2019 post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.

Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going.  Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world.  Let’s flood the world with LOVE! (Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease and Grace).

If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your truth –  Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible for you.

May your life be filled with more moments of Grace and may that Grace spill over into our world.

In Love, Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease (and Grace),

Susie Goliti

(aka Transformation Junkie)

1 Jul 2019

A Year of Love: EASE

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Dear Love Seekers,

This month it’s all about EASE.

I kind of find it hilarious that I am starting to write this blog on a day that I find myself not at ease.  I am agitated, scattered and restless.  I am very aware of the unease in this moment.  What better way to know what you want when contrasted to what you don’t want?

Not focusing on what I want (ease) and allowing my energy to focus on the (unease) just created more unease.  So, how do we focus on what we want when the thing we don’t want is right in front of us?

For me it comes down to stopping, being aware of the unease, asking myself what there is to learn from this moment, what would I have been happy to have done in this moment and what could bring ease to this moment?

I don’t mean ease as in easy or taking the easy way out – I mean ease as in releasing the resistance to what is happening.  Releasing the need to make a moment different.  Releasing the need to be right that something or someone else is wrong.  When your blood is boiling, and you want to show everyone that you are right.  STOP.  Just stop and find the ease.

It might mean that you need to vent to someone or write in a journal or go in the closet and scream.

The pathway to ease may not be easy because the first step is admitting that you might be wrong or that you might be judging or stubborn or righteous or something other than you aspire to be.  Get over it – you are human.  This is what humans do.  The longer you fight the unease and try to be right the longer you will be uneasy.

Following the ease is a practice.  It’s a commitment and a value that allows you to continue moving forward.  At any given moment ask yourself -Where is the ease here?  What thought or action is the next step toward ease for me?

The reason I wanted to talk about ease is that I have been on a quest to follow the ease for about 3 years now.  I have incorporated this value in the building of my business, with my relationships, my spiritual growth and my finances.  An integral part of finding the ease for me is being in integrity with what I say I will do and being accountable for my goals and commitments while at the same time having the flexibility to change course.

One of our biggest challenges is allowing ourselves to adapt, change, try new things or change our minds.  We fear being labeled as flakey, unreliable, unstable.  But what if your goal was to follow the ease and not stick with something that you hate.  What if your goal was to allow yourself to change course and that the growth in the change was what was valued more than the ability to grind through and stick with something that no longer interests you?

Hey, I am not saying that you should not stick with a commitment or you should just change your mind and leave people hanging but I am saying that I think it is possible to be responsible, be count-on-able and still be able to change course and follow the ease in your life.

What would I be happy to have done? – Ask yourself that questions whenever you are at a crossroads or when you feel uneasy.  Then listen to the answer.  You will know.

 

Webster’s dictionary definition of Ease:

Noun – absence of difficulty or effort.  I gave it up with ease.

Verb – make (something unpleasant, painful, or intense) less serious or severe. Doing this eased that up or I eased through life.

 

Thoughts on Ease:

“If knowledge and foresight are too penetrating and deep, unify them with ease and sincerity.” – Xun Kuang

“With age comes a greater wisdom, an ease and comfort with oneself.” –  Cherie Lunghi

“Minds that are ill at ease are agitated by both hope and fear.” –  Ovid

 

Please read my January 2019 post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.

Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going.  Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world.  Let’s flood the world with LOVE! (Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith and Ease).

If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your truth –  Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible for you.

May your life be filled with more moments of Ease and may that Ease spill over into our world.

In Love, Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith (and Ease),

Susie Goliti (aka Transformation Junkie)

1 Jun 2019

A Year of Love: FAITH

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Dear Love Seekers,

I wanted to explore Faith this month.  I have had a difficult time with this word in the past because I used to feel that it was tied to religion.  That to have faith or be faithful I had to follow some doctrine and believe in that doctrine wholeheartedly.

What I have come to realize is that I do have faith and I am faithful to the doctrine that we are connected to something bigger than ourselves (GOD, Spirit, Universe the divine or whatever other words that people want to use) and that true faith is knowing that when you are connected to that “higher power” and you let yourself have faith in it then you are on your own true path.

You’ve heard me talk before about “the” way vs. “a” way and religion, practices, beliefs, dogma’s, etc. are all just one way to be in this world.  They provide a framework in which someone can connect to their higher power, but they are not the higher power.

According to the bible “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” Hebrews 11:1 – Faith is the connecting power into the spiritual realm, which links us with God and makes Him become a tangible reality to the sense perceptions of a person.  Faith is the basic ingredient to begin a relationship with God.

If you replace the word GOD and Him with The Universe and IT, I am absolutely in agreement with the Bible’s interpretation.  And frankly, you could change the word GOD to Mohammad, Zoroaster, Siddhartha Gautama, Jesus Christ or Steve for that matter because each of those names/prophet’s/men/gods provide the framework for you to connect to your higher power.

Faith to me also relates to trust.  Trusting in something unseen. Trusting in the unknown, the mystery.  Just like you look at a cloudy day and trust that the sun will come out at another time – you can look at any upset, set-back or tragedy and trust that you are connected to a higher energy or power which will reveal itself to you.  By moving forward in faith (at some point/in some way) YOUR path will become clear.

Fun Fact: There are some 4,300 religions of the world. This is according to Adherents, an independent, non-religiously affiliated organization that monitors the number and size of the world’s religions. Side-stepping the issue of what constitutes a religion, Adherents divides religions into churches, denominations, congregations, religious bodies, faith groups, tribes, cultures, and movements. All are of varying size and influence.  However, nearly 75 percent of the world’s population practices one of the five most influential religions of the world: Buddhism, Christianity, Hinduism, Islam, and Judaism.

In no way am I trying to say religion is not good or that people should not practice and believe in the religion that they are a part of.  I am saying that by allowing yourself to pull back and see that your religion is the framework for you to connect to the spiritual realm, that you can find the common ground with people who practice another way to connect with the spiritual realm, that you can mix and match – take what works and let go of what does not – then you are creating the formula for you to find your unique spiritual connection to the great unseen.  There is not one way to the spiritual realm, but I do think that there is a way for you which is unique and that is your work here on this planet is to find it and move toward it and have faith in it.

Ultimately, I feel that my greatest learning has come from the realization (and acceptance) that I must stay open to other ways of thinking and trust that I have the power to determine MY true path to live this life.  I spent a lot of time trying to conform, do what I thought others would want me to do and (sometimes) just wanted to be told because it seemed easier but the trust and faith I have now that my life is truly in my control is the biggest comfort of all.

 

Thoughts on Faith:

“Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.” – Martin Luther King Jr.

“A man of courage is also full of faith.” – Marcus Tullius Cicero

“Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to.” – Unknown

 

Please read my January post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.

Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going.  Why not post your version of what you want to put out in the world.  Let’s flood the world with LOVE! (Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness and Faith).

If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your truth –  Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible for you.

May your life be filled with more moments of Faith and may that Faith spill over into our world.

In Love, Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness (and Faith),

Susie Goliti