Dear Love Seekers,
This month I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness. Many of my clients struggle with this too so I wanted to explore this topic as we head into the holidays. We all have a past with our families, ourselves, friends, the country, our community that may or may not be filled with rainbows and butterflies. If we are all being honest, I think we probably have a dead butterfly or two back there in our past.
So, what do we do with that? How do we truly forgive? Can we?
“Forgiveness is giving up all hope for a better past.”
I love this quote because it allows me to sink into the futility of the grudge, anger or hurt I might be feeling. To give up all hope that it should have happened any different than it did. Of course, there are things that happen that we wish didn’t but if we can give up hoping that they were different if we can learn from and accept the lesson of what did happen then we can forgive. We can move on.
Byron Katie and others teach that we must be able to accept all that has happened as necessary and exactly how it should have gone (whether or not we understand it) that there is nothing to correct. There is only learning and moving on.
I used to think that forgiving was just not thinking about the past or having an attitude of “whatever” toward the perceived (and legitimate) wrongs I had experienced. But subconsciously I was carrying those wrongs with me and I could get triggered in a second when a reminder came in the form of seeing a person or being in a situation that I had not forgiven.
“Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.”
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.
The idea of holding onto resentment to prove that I am right that they were wrong was a very hard practice for me to break. Even if I was “right” I was the one suffering. I was the one shut down, existing in the world as petty and vengeful. I was the one who spent my energy looking back to see how I could prove I was right. I was the one wasting my life on revenge. Once I saw that – I had a choice. We always have a choice.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then waiting for the other person to die.”
So, how can you complete this year giving up all hope for a better past? How can you take the lessons from these grievances and create 2020 from a place of forgiveness, from a place of accepting that the past is complete and that there is nothing to correct or point out to others to correct?
Now, I am not saying that you should not clean up anything that you realize you have done to others that could have been hurtful, misleading or wrong. Always do that to keep your integrity clean. What I am saying is to not stomp around and point out how others should do that too.
Consider that when you are standing in your integrity and cleaning up what is yours to clean up you may inspire others to do the same. Not in a “see I’m doing it, you should too” way, but in an “I do this because it is the right thing for me to do” way. When you forgive it allows you to move forward on your life path with freedom and ease.
Can you imagine how different it will feel when you look forward and it is just clear, open potential instead of trudging forward dragging all those grievances and upsets on your back? Keeping them there to use to prove you’re right just in case you encounter the people or situations you need to prove wrong. I say, drop that bag, forgive and see what’s around that next corner.
Thoughts on FORGIVENESS:
“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” – Tony Robbins
“Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner” – Unknown
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Please read my January 2019 post for the details of my original idea to intentionally spread love.
Follow my Facebook page www.facebook.com/SusieGolitiCoaching where I will share how it’s going. Feel free to post your version of what you want to put out in the world. Let’s flood the world with LOVE (Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease, Grace, Truth, Power and Forgiveness).
If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your truth – Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible for you.
May your life be filled with more moments of forgiveness and may that forgiveness spill over into our world.
In Love, Kindness, Joy, Peace, Happiness, Faith, Ease, Grace, Truth, Power (and Forgiveness),
Susie Goliti
(aka Transformation Junkie)
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