Dear Transformation Junkies (and love seekers),
As 2020 begins I’ve been ruminating on what I would like to share in our transformational world here in the blog. I know it’s not to post every day as I did in 2019 (which was awesome) and yet not calling me anymore. Although stay tuned for a book of my experience of posting an intentional act of love every day – coming soon!
And, I also know I want it to feel easy and happy and joyful and free. This puts me at odds with myself because when I have structure, consequences, accountability I get stuff done but it can feel restrictive. When I just let myself follow what feels right, I ramble, get lost, stop, restart and love it.
So, my friends I am going to follow the ease and plan to review my old notes, lectures, retreat materials from over 25 years of transformative learning and just reflect on them. I hope it will be interesting for you and that you will be inspired to do some reflecting on your own.
Welcome to “Musings of a Transformation Junkie” –
Where the path has not been paved and the journey is the goal.
I was looking at my notes from a Landmark Education course and came across my notes on being extraordinary. The first thing that caught my eye was my note that “being extraordinary is found in being ordinary” that we are so concerned with being viewed as ordinary we look for the EXTRA “in order to” not be viewed as ordinary as opposed to allowing the EXTRA to “occur” in its divine way.
In our ordinary life, we are going along and then the thought occurs – there is something wrong here – that is/this is or I am too ordinary. We start to think we have to be extraordinary to stand out/deserve/belong. What if the EXTRA we bring into our ordinary experience is to give up the story that there is anything wrong? That what is happening is exactly what is happening – without meaning. Not to say we can’t affect some change in the circumstances by doing, not doing or saying, not saying something but that the doing/saying comes from the impulse to “create” not the impulse to “fix” the ordinary we are. Our ordinary is a part of us, it is us. Let us embrace it and learn from it and enhance it as opposed to gagging it and shoving it in the basement.
When I was preparing this blog post I read quotes on the idea of extraordinary and so many of them perpetuate the idea that the last thing you would ever want to be is ordinary. Like it was evil. It surprised me to see how much our culture validates this idea that the ordinary you are is not enough. It makes me wonder how much this affects our youth as they try to navigate this world and start out being bombarded with the message that they are not enough that they MUST add the EXTRA. At all costs.
We are enough. Now we can play the game to add the EXTRA.
Recently I was giving a workshop to a room of people I had never met. I was prepared, arrived early, had my notes, etc. and during the talk I found myself disconnecting. Going into my head and not being present. That is ordinary. What I found in me, the EXTRA, was to realize the disconnection, let it be and choose what to do next. Then I had the space to reconnect, to reengage. This happened several times. Probably not my best workshop but for me it allowed me to practice presence, compassion, and faith. I was able to practice allowing the divine to work through me in real-time. I had access to bring in the EXTRA on top of the ordinary, not in spite of the ordinary.
Ordinary is the foundation from which EXTRA is created
What if Normal is the you that is you, the you that can only be you and the you that no one else can be? In essence – the NORMAL you. If that was enough (which it is) and you knew that as true, then adding the EXTRA to the NORMAL makes you EXTRA-normal. Or in this case, EXTRA-you. Now that conversation interests me. How do we bring in more of ourselves into the world? If I can’t be at peace with my ordinariness, then there is no opening for extraordinary.
Like a snowflake that is uniquely itself (no other like it) floating down in a sea of other snowflakes, it appears NORMAL and it is a normal snowflake. Is that bad? Of course not. Now I don’t think snowflakes create games to play like we humans do so they probably are in full acceptance of their EXTRA in their ordinary, but we love to create games, create meaning, create right/wrong or good/bad. What if we could be like that normal snowflake, accept that we are a snowflake and then look to share our uniqueness, our particular shape, cut, ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc. Not in order to be the best of all the snowflakes but to be the best snowflake we can be.
Be Extraordinary – for no reason!
I was at a retreat once and a speaker pointed out that however discouraged or overwhelmed I might be in regard to speaking my truth or feel like how could it matter because I am just ordinary, what could I have to offer – that my unique way of speaking, my particular EXTRA spin, insight, message could be the only way that another person could hear/see/understand it. That by my holding back my EXTRA in fear of looking bad or in order to look good I would kill off the EXTRA that was needed at that moment, for that person.
Anyway, this idea just struck me and gave me room to be where I am right now to accept myself as I am right now and trust that my EXTRA comes out in the moments when I allow it to emerge unencumbered with my restrictions on how it needs to appear. I am feeling grateful for my extraordinary ordinariness.
“I was not a messiah, but an ordinary man who had become a leader because of extraordinary circumstances.”
-Nelson Mandela
“Your ordinary acts of love and hope point to the extraordinary promise that every human life is of inestimable value.”
-Desmond Tutu
“My powers are ordinary. Only my application brings me success.”
-Isaac Newton
If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your truth –
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Follow your heart.
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