Dear fellow life travelers, transformation junkies and love seekers,
I wanted to write about a recent experience I had around taking care of myself. I share it because I think it may resonate with you and also, I share it to provide you with a way of thinking about self-care, our intentions around self-care, and our ability to access the truth about self-care (for us) in the moment – for real.
I was living my life and then the Corona Virus happened.
As most of you are now experiencing – our lives are ON-LINE! The amount of time we spend in front of some sort of screen has skyrocketed. Just look at ZOOM’s user base, it went from 10 Million to 200 Million in like a month. I’m a ZOOM user. I offer group coaching via ZOOM and have taken other courses and classes via ZOOM. But, my gosh, my eyes were not ready to be on-line so much. I had to declare one full day as a no-screen day just to recover. It’s my experience with trying to actually have that no-screen day that I want to share with you.
SELF-CARE – it’s a practice!
After I had been on the computer for the whole weekend on a retreat that had been scheduled as in-person but got moved to ZOOM, I coordinated several ZOOM calls before and after each session to catch up with family, different friend groups, other in-person groups that now were going online, etc. I actually had a physical recoil from the screen at 9:30 pm during my last call on Sunday evening. I had to just leave the meeting. I have never ever had that experience. I did what I always try to do when I can feel something is not right – I ask myself this question: What would I be happy to have done? And the clear and immediate answer was leaving the call.
WHAT WOULD I BE HAPPY TO HAVE DONE?
I first heard this question as a tool to use in an Alison Armstrong (Celebrating Men/Satisfying Women) seminar about 15 years ago. It’s so powerful because it forces you to separate from the actual moment and causes your brain to quickly find an answer to the question. It allows a real moment response to a past promise, commitment, or plan. Life shifts, why do we think we can’t?
The no-screen day was declared. I scheduled it for 3 days later because that was the earliest, I could fit it in. On the appointed day I spent like 3 hours on the computer and phone. Ok, I know, that does not seem like much to write about BUT in my defense, the 3 hours I did spend were for things I really wanted to do and only 3 hours did seem like a big break. But it did surprise me that I really couldn’t take a full day’s break. My mom and others called (phone), some texts came in (I answered), A teacher I love offers daily one-hour live calls and he had a call that day. It made me realize how attached I am to my screens. So, what do I do with this? How do I navigate going forward? The only thing I can say is that I need to continue asking myself – What would I be happy to have done? And, what feels good – right now? And then do that.
WHAT FEELS GOOD? RIGHT NOW? DO THAT!
My internal knowing never lets me down if (1) I ask and (2) I don’t override it. I can rationalize away from my clear yes or no in a flash. Even when that yes or no comes from spirit/intuition/knowing (whatever we call it). I don’t want to let someone down (but I’ll let myself down), I don’t want to disappoint someone (but I will disappoint myself), I want to be a good friend (but I am a bad friend to me). I am not sure where I got the idea that self-care is selfish (probably from someone who wanted me to override my knowing and do what they wanted me to do) but as I age (like a fine wine) I KNOW that no one can take care of me like I can take care of me – IT IS UP TO ME.
IT IS UP TO ME AND THAT’S GOOD NEWS
During this time of shelter-in-place and as the world starts to reopen keep asking yourself questions that get to your knowing. Questions that point you in the direction of your passion, your ease, your contentment. Questions that help you stop and listen, stop and assess in the present moment what YOU need (or don’t need) right now. You got you!
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“Be gentle first with yourself” – Lama Yeshe
“This above all: to thine own self be true.” – William Shakespeare
“Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.” – Lao Tzu
“Give yourself permission to change your mind – even if it scares others.” – Susie Goliti
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IT’S UP TO YOU TO LIVE A LIFE YOU LOVE? That’s good news.
If you are you looking for support in creating your life from your intuition, your inspiration, your truth –
Please book a FREE consultation with me to see what may be possible.
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Follow your heart.
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